Am I an introvert?

One of the best parts of traveling is meeting people along the way, whether it’s locals or fellow travelers. Since I had a decent portion of solo travel on this recent trip to Paris, I took the time to talk to strangers whenever the opportunity presented itself. I thought it’d be fun to list the more interesting interactions I had, and then explain why I still consider myself an introvert.

• (SFO Airport) While waiting for my flight to board, I was doing some work at a table when this younger Asian guy sat down across from me. He was on a conference call, and based on what he was saying I suspected he was at a venture capitalist firm. After his call ended I said, “Your job sounds more interesting than mine.” He told me he’s in private equity, and wanted to make sure his report knew what to do while he’s visiting family in Taiwan. I told him I was going to Paris to watch a beach volleyball tournament, and his interest piqued because it turns out he’s a volleyball fanatic who plays in the city 5x a week. After talking about that for a bit, I asked for his contact info so I could link him up with my SF volleyball friends.
• (Next to me on the flight to Paris) Matt and Yaz are an older retired couple from Boulder, Colorado, and Max was clearly an extrovert. I was very grateful because he had saved me some overhead bin space when there wasn’t any around me. They had already been to Paris a few times this year, as they have friends there and usually stay in their friend’s apartment (it must be nice). One of the reasons I love talking to travelers is so I can get their recommendations, and also pass off recommendations of my own. Max was a wealth of knowledge, and is also how I found out about the bakery with the most amazing plain croissants. I, in turn, told him about the Too Good to Go app and Breizh Cafe. I asked to connect on Facebook in case I have any other Paris/food questions for him.
• (At the tournament) I was watching volleyball on the outer court and somehow struck up a conversation with a friendly Dutch fan sitting nearby. After seeing one of the Dutch athletes talk to him, I asked him how he knew the player. The fan (whose name is escaping me right now) told me he’s friends with the players because he lives in The Hague, and that’s where the Dutch athletes train. He goes to maybe 3-4 tournaments a year, and is also planning to go to the Paris Olympics next year.
• (At the tournament) I was cheering on the last American men’s team in an elimination match on stadium court when I noticed that the people across the aisle from me were also American. It was Saturday morning and the stadium was mostly empty (the event was not very well attended), so I said to the woman sitting closest to me, “You must be family members.” Sure enough, she smiled and acknowledged, “Yes, I’m Andy’s mom. I’m here with Miles’ mom and Andy’s girlfriend.” Unfortunately the American team lost shortly after that, so I wished them a good time in Paris and we left stadium court to try and say hi to Andy and Miles.
• (At the tournament) The outer court started to fill out a bit more later in the morning, and somehow I started talking to other fans standing close to me. The black guy closest to me was either Dutch or German, but living in Finland. He was there with an American and the American’s (Finnish?) girlfriend. When they learned I was from California, the girlfriend said, “I heard there are a lot of homeless people in California.” I laughed and deflected, “There are homeless people here in Paris!”
• (At the tournament) I was with Ethan and Andrew by this point, and we were cheering on the American women against the Dutch women when we discovered that the fans behind us were Dutch. They were friendly, and I asked if they were cheering on both Dutch men’s teams, or if “they cared which team won.” One of the women laughed and said, “Well, I’m Robbie’s girlfriend, so yes, I care.” (Robbie Meeuwsen and his teammate Alexander Brouwer are 2013 World Champions, and also got bronze at the 2016 Rio Olympics.)
• (At the tournament) Fred and Anna were sitting right next to me, so when they heard me talking in English they introduced themselves to me as American. It turned out that they were also from Northern California (north of San Francisco though). Not only that, but Anna attended the same high school I did, just a few years after me. She joked that we were “basically the same person” because we were also wearing the same brand sunglasses and shoes. We went to watch different matches after that, but exchanged cell phone numbers so we could keep in touch. Later in the afternoon I invited them to join us for dinner, and we all went to Breizh Cafe together. It was really fun to get to know them more beyond the usual small talk and actually share a meal together. We even tried to set up a time to play some beach volleyball together the next day, but it didn’t quite work out.
• (At the ramen restaurant) My friend Alison sent me a recommendation for a unique ramen place in Paris, and I decided to go check it out. The restaurant was set up to look like a fish market, and you sat in communal tables throughout the “market.” When I got to the restaurant, I got in the line outside and asked the guy in front of me if he knew how long the wait was. He showed me the app he used to get in the virtual line, and I downloaded it as well. I also got to ask him about the Navigo pass that’s being used for the metro, as I wasn’t sure what that was all about. I was hoping we could sit together at the restaurant so we can continue our conversation (I was traveling solo at this point), but the staff seated me in the last spot next to a couple at the end of the table. I overheard them speak in English so I started talking to them. He was there for fashion week and it was his 13th trip to Paris, and was introducing her to the city. We were exchanging recommendations when they mentioned the famous steak frites place that I had also seen on TikTok. They confirmed for me that it was worth trying and gave me some useful information on when to get there and which dessert to get.
• (On the metro) I was returning to my hotel on the metro after sightseeing when this younger Chinese couple got on and started talking in Chinese. After eavesdropping for a while I decided it would be fun to practice my Chinese, and asked them where they were from. They were surprised at first and didn’t quite register that I was speaking in Chinese, but then warmed up quickly even though they were from mainland China and recognized my Taiwanese accent. He had been living in Paris for 8 years and her for 3, and they met in Paris since they lived a block away from each other. She immediately asked if I wanted any Chinese food recs, and I told them I wanted to eat French food. We got off at the same metro stop and parted ways shortly after that. I actually wanted to get her contact info since it seemed like she had a lot of good recommendations, but it felt awkward since it’s unlikely I’d ever see them again, and also because I didn’t want her to think I was trying to pick her up in front of her boyfriend (presumably). Still, it was nice that she seemed eager to help me get good Chinese food and boba in Paris.
• (On Uber ride to another hotel) This was by far my most awkward conversation in Paris, as my Uber driver was determined to talk to me despite his lack of English proficiency. He kept on apologizing for his poor English, which is funny because it was still better than my French, and we were in France. At first he was upset that the fare Uber offered was so low for an hour ride (traffic was bad), because gas and insurance is expensive. Then he was complaining about electric vehicles (he drove a hybrid). He told me he’s Algerian, but his grandparents had immigrated to France (or were born there). And housing prices in Paris (or maybe France) were really high. I had to give him points for trying, and I did my best to engage…both of us were using Google Translate at various points throughout the conversation.

You might be wondering how on earth this could be interpreted as “introvert” behavior, but consider the following:

• I don’t usually talk to this many strangers when I travel. In fact, I barely spoke to any in all of my previous trips this year. When I’m traveling with friends I’m usually more focused on hanging out with them instead of talking to randos, so this is definitely more of a function of traveling alone.
• Half of these interactions were at the beach volleyball tournament, which is a conducive environment to meeting other like-minded people. Keep in mind also that I went to 4 beach volleyball tournaments this year and didn’t meet anybody.
• It feels a lot easier to meet people in Europe, especially Americans, as you’re away from home and it’s nice to connect in your native tongue. This is probably the biggest factor why I met so many people on this trip.

Nonetheless, people are often surprised when I tell them I’m an introvert. However, the reality is more nuanced, as the introversion/extroversion scale operates along a spectrum, not as a strict binary. I consider myself somewhere near the middle, but on the introverted side.

Contrary to popular belief, being introverted doesn’t mean you’re antisocial and don’t like people; it just means you get your energy from being alone, versus being with people. This is consistent with how I feel: I enjoy talking to people, but I’m usually tired from it afterwards and need to recharge by being alone. After all, we all need people…no man is an island, as they say.

I mentioned earlier that Max, the guy who sat next to me on the flight to Paris, was clearly an extrovert. I made that observation because he seemed more energized by our conversation than I was, even though I liked getting to know him. (Max, if you’re reading this, let me know if I’m right.)

In the end, whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or somewhere in between, life is about the people you meet along the way. If you still think I’m an extrovert it’s only because you don’t see the time I take to recharge my introverted batteries. But I don’t blame you…I just want to get to know you and what makes you tick. Just let me go take a nap first so I have the energy it takes to talk to you.

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Are you an introvert?

Also, here’s a funny Reel I found that seems relevant to this blog post…

 

 

 

 

 

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