Why I like the Myers-Briggs

(If you haven’t taken the Myers-Briggs, you can take it here.)

In general, people seem to have one of the following attitudes when it comes to the Myers-Briggs (can also apply to the Enneagram, or some other personality type thing):

1. MBTI will solve world hunger
2. Don’t put me in a box
3. Meh

My roommate Cory is squarely in the first category, and while I don’t think it’s a panacea by any means I do enjoy talking about it with him when we gossip about psychoanalyze our friends.

To recap, below are the 4 different characteristics of the MBTI:

1. Introvert / Extrovert: where do you get your energy from? Does spending time with other people give you energy, or does it leave you feeling drained?
2. Intuitive / Sensing: how do you take in information? Is it through your senses and specific details (S), or do you prefer to interpret and add meaning (N)?
3. Thinking / Feeling: when it comes to decision making, are you more of a thinker or feeler? T’s make decisions based on “objective principles and impersonal facts,” while F’s may “put more weight on personal concerns and the people involved.”
4. Judging / Perceiving: are you more structured / planned (J), or adaptable / flexible (P)? J’s prefer to do the thinking on the front-end, while P’s like to leave their options open and do the thinking on the back-end.

Of course, there’s a spectrum across all the characteristics. I am a borderline introverted ISTJ, with S being my strongest trait. 16 personalities describes ISTJs as logisticians (makes sense to me), and it’s thought to be the most common Myers-Briggs type. Meanwhile, Cory is a borderline extroverted ENTP, with his N / T / P traits all pretty strong (apparently he tested 100% N once). 16 personalities describe ENTPs as debaters, and I can’t tell you how true this is of Cory.

We’ve had countless debates on J’s versus P’s and to a lesser degree, S’s versus N’s, but in general I love bouncing different ideas and opinions off Cory because I know he’ll likely have a different perspective than me. Sometimes it can be frustrating when we don’t agree (he’s obviously wrong in those cases), but most of the time it makes for fascinating conversation.

In general, though, I like talking about the MBTI because it’s an opportunity to learn more about your friends. My friend Nate told me how he scheduled an appointment with his guidance counselor when he found out that he tested INFP back in high school. Apparently it “wasn’t okay” that the MBTI said he was an introvert, but thankfully he had “successfully transitioned to an ENFP” when he took the test again a few years later.

As an aside, it’s common knowledge amongst Myers-Briggs aficionados that ENFP’s are the coolest people around: literally everyone loves ENFP’s. Even though ENFP’s are the exact opposite of ISTJ’s, I get along really well with ENFP’s and also have several ENFP friends. When I told Cory this he laughed and said, “ENFP’s get along with everyone,” which I conceded.

Perhaps the most important reason why I like Myers-Briggs is because it’s a great tool for understanding people, what makes them tick, and how they’re different than me. As a strong S, it’s easy for me to identify N’s precisely because they’re so different than me: N’s like to speak in the theoretical, whereas I’m always asking for specifics and concrete examples. Nevertheless, I enjoy conversations with N’s because they challenge me to think and articulate myself differently.

This came up a couple weekends ago during what I thought was going to be a friendly game of Codenames (here’s the non-affiliate link). I was nominated to be the spymaster, and since I didn’t know anybody on my team I said by way of introduction, “I’m an S, are you guys S’s or N’s?” (S’s tend to give different clues than N’s, so I wanted to know who my target audience was.) It turned out that everybody was an N, and one girl in particular seemed to have had especially bad experiences with S’s: “N’s always adapt to S’s but S’s never adapt to N’s!” Eventually, though, I won over the N’s with my spectacular N clue of “scissors 2,” with the answers being “paper” and “rock” (there were other S answers available, like “hole” or “line”). (Also, we won that particular round.)

On the drive home from that particular gathering, I was reflecting that most of my friends are actually N’s…maybe it’s something about opposite attraction. On the other hand, that definitely doesn’t apply to the J-P dynamic since it can be a frequent source of conflict in friendships as well as travel partners. For the longest time I’ve experienced P’s as being late and noncommittal, which is super annoying because it just seems disrespectful of my time. From Cory’s perspective as a P, he experiences J’s as being more concerned about schedules than the actual relationship. For example, P’s may show up late to a birthday dinner, but they will be there until the end to celebrate their friend, whereas J’s may leave early because they need to brush their teeth by some arbitrary time.

I don’t agree with everything Cory says about how’s P’s are amazing and how J’s always need to control the situation, but over the years I have developed a better understanding of where he’s coming from. Bottom line: he’s just not like me, which is a good thing; we’re all different and uniquely gifted. Morever, there’s some truth to Cory’s assertion that when P’s show up (late), they are 100% there.

In addition, in recent years I’ve befriended the rare breed of P’s who can commit as well as be on-time, which has been so interesting to me. It’s redefined how I think about P’s and also helped me realize that there’s nuance beyond the 4 letters that describe somebody’s MBTI.

In conclusion, maybe we are all special snowflakes that defy categorization…but sometimes it can still be helpful to know what the categories are.