How to throw a last minute holiday party

At 7 pm I did a mental headcount and had a mild panic attack. It was 30 minutes before the “party” was supposed to start, and said “party” might only end up with 3 total people including me.

I frantically pinged one of my friends who said she might be coming and pleaded, “Hey can you come over so it doesn’t seem like I have zero friends?” Thankfully she was planning on coming, so that brought the total to 4.

Then I found out my friend’s roommate was too jet-lagged to come, so we were back down to 3. Darn. I stared at my computer, and happened to see a friend on Facebook Messenger I could invite to the party that was supposed to begin in 7 minutes.

“Hey…if you’re not doing anything tonight do you want to come over to my place, like now? Rohan’s coming too!” It was fortuitous that Jonathan knew Rohan and happened to be online/available on Facebook and IRL. Rohan and I had met Jonathan only once through a mutual friend, but he was friendly and open, and I thought we had made a genuine connection at Oktoberfest a few months back.

Jonathan said yes, so that brought the total back up to 4. I breathed a sigh of relief, and relaxed a little knowing that I would likely escape the evening without being labeled a loner with no friends. From then on it was easy: I pinged the two last remaining “maybes” and reminded them my address so they would have no excuse not to come could figure out the fastest way to get to my place from wherever they were. They both came (bringing the final total to 6), we all ate, chatted, played games, and were merry.

The whole evening turned out to be super fun, and better than anything I could have planned. Having hosted and organized more than my share of game nights, pickup volleyball games, and random dinners, I shouldn’t have been surprised; God has proven Himself to be more than capable of working things out in situations like this. It doesn’t mean I can sit back and do nothing; I still need to do my part to partner with God in an organic and natural way. Below are a few lessons I learned in my journey and what that partnership looked like for me.

1. Embrace your gift. I discovered many years ago that I enjoyed bringing people together…it was how God made me. This meant that I would often organize or host events that facilitated connections between different groups of friends. The downside of being an organizer/inviter, though, is that I also experienced more than my share of rejection. I learned to develop a thick skin out of necessity: for this previous holiday party, I had 18 no’s for the 5 people that eventually came. While I have definitely learned over the years to not take rejection personally (I tell myself that it’s just a schedule conflict, and not because they don’t like me), I’m still not totally immune from them. But, I continue to organize events, invite others, and risk rejection because I know this is how I was wired.
2. Having said that, I also don’t seek out rejection in trying to invite everybody I know or have met. One of my biggest fears as an event organizer is that not enough people would come to whatever event I was planning. Or worse, what if only one person came? I could have tried to mitigate this by inviting the whole world, but a) I don’t want to come across as desperate and b) I’m actually pretty picky about the people I invite/hang out with. I didn’t invite several of my good friends because I knew they likely would not be able to make it due to family (i.e. kid) obligations. I didn’t invite people I had met the previous day playing volleyball since that reeked of desperation. And there were still others I didn’t invite because it didn’t feel like a good fit for who would likely end up at the party. It’s okay to be picky about who you want to invite or hang out with.
3. Relax and relinquish control. As a natural planner and “J” Myers-Briggs personality type, it’s not easy to let go of my need to be in control. This applies to not just the events I’m organizing, but also to life in general. With every passing year I’m more and more cognizant of the fact that I am not in control; I can do my part, but everything else is up to God. For this particular last-minute holiday gathering, my part was inviting people, buying snacks, and providing a welcoming space. In past years I would stress more about last-minute changes/cancellations, but nowadays I try to take it in stride and relax, knowing that ultimately, there’s somebody else who is in control.

Note: I still tried to do too much for this gathering…initially I told my friend that it’d be an ugly sweater holiday party, but then I had no time to actually go get an ugly sweater. A couple hours before the party I went to TJ Maxx, Gap, Old Navy, Burlington Coat Factory, and finally Target to get this sweater that I didn’t like or want. In the end it didn’t matter; half the people weren’t wearing ugly sweaters anyway since it was last minute.